All About Bathrooms!

*** Warning! *** This blog post talks candidly about bathrooms and related, potentially disgusting things… reader discretion is advised!

Bathrooms. We all use them, but who talks about them? Well, I’m ready to break my silence and crack the window on the room with the porcelain throne.  Let’s dive in! (eeeewwww…)

#1 (Liquid Waste)

• Sit vs. Stand

It’s (mostly) a guy question, but what the heck… I’m a guy! At home, I’m a sitter, but when out and about, it’s all stand. Of course the question is moot at a urinal (though I haven’t ever really tried to sit on one). It’s a personal preference for guys around the globe. Except in Sweden, where the Left Party is trying to pass a law requiring men to sit, citing hygiene and health matters. When in Sweden, I guess! (click here for Sweden info)

• Flush or Not

There used to be a common sign that said “If It’s Yellow, Let It Mellow. If It’s Brown, Flush It Down.” The idea was to conserve water when possible. With today’s low-flow and dual-flush toilets, it doesn’t matter as much. So I say “Always Flush, Or I’ll Kick Your Tush!”

#2 (Solid Waste)

• Sinkers vs. Floaters

People have written books about poop. Children’s books. Adult books. Medical books. Somewhere along the way, I recall hearing that Floaters were better than Sinkers. If anyone has a clue why, just let me know… otherwise I could care less. (as long as it’s gone when I open the stall).

• Wiping Maneuvers

There’s a bit of personal preference, and a bit of hygiene on this topic. Firstly, it’s my understanding to always wipe front-to-back. It just makes hygienic sense to me, no matter what gender you may be. Second… do you stand to wipe, or stay seated? I’m a stander, myself – I just can’t figure out the mechanics of sitting and wiping. I’ve read that both ways are pretty common. Last, but definitely not least… Toilet paper. Over the roll, not under. Period. It’s the only right way. (if you think under is best, you’re just wrong 😉

Washing Up

• Before, After, or Both

Washing your hands. An absolute must for hygiene (your own and mine, thank you) I’ve heard some folks actually wash their hands before they go, instead of after. Now, I can see doing both. But I think that washing after is paramount. It really bugs me when I see someone exit a stall and stroll out the door. (eeeewwwww!). If I’m at a restaurant and it’s one of the staff, you can bet I’m not coming back!

• Handles: Doors and Taps

Door handles are obvious germ issues in public rest rooms. Too many folks don’t wash their hands, or don’t use soap. I use a paper towel to open the door, when available. I’ve even seen some doors with a foot-pull. Best door: push open from the inside. As for the sink tap handles, I think these are the Typhoid Mary of the public rest room. Think about it for a second. Your hands are dirty. You turn on the tap. You wash your hands… aaaaaaannnnddd, you touch the same filthy handle to turn off the tap. Paper towels to the rescue again. Second best are the hospital-style handles you can turn with your elbow. Absolute best – no-touch faucets (when they work properly, that is). Absolute worst taps are the kind you have to keep pushing to get water – yucky!

Betiquette (Bathroom Etiquette)

• Courtesy Flush

You know when you need to flush… do it, for the good of all of us!

• Air Freshener

Yuck. If there’s one thing worse than smelling crapola, it’s smelling fake-perfumey-flowers and crapola. Open a window, light a match, or courtesy flush (see above) instead.

• Phone Usage

Don’t. You’re not that important, really. Plus, eeeeewwwww!

• Talking

Generally, no talking. I don’t care if your friend is standing or sitting next to you. It can wait. The exception is if you need something, like toilet paper. That’s ok.

The Final Flush

Bathrooms. I spend way too much time in them, and even more time thinking about them. Bottom line (hah), it’s a big part of all our lives.
Carry Purell, and stay clean out there!