Herbert the Homicidal Turkey

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
(as: Motif “Bluesman” Thomas)

The holidays are upon us! What better way to celebrate than with a brand-spankin-new holiday song… My gift to you – Enjoy!

*** Download “Herbert the Homicidal Turkey” MP3 Here! ***



~~~ Lyrics ~~~

Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
as sung by Motif “Bluesman” Thomas
Lyrics by Joe J Thomas

— Intro by Motif —
Now you all know all the standard holiday stories, but let this old bluesman tell you a tale you ain’t never heard… this here’s the story of Herbert the Homicidal Turkey – Let’s light ‘er up, boys!
— verse 1 —
Tired of being eaten, he was fed up to here
Knocked over a gun shop and loaded with gear
He’s leavin’ this world on a wing and a prayer
Talk about guts, he had giblets to spare
The things I seen you won’t believe
I’m talkin’ Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— verse 2 —
A gobblin’ fool, with feathers a flyin’
If he could go like this then he don’t mind dyin’
With bullets and bombs it was a mean turkey run
Like Arnold and Stallone rolled into one
People were scared, they started to flee
From Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— verse 3 —
Stole a gold cadillac, police gave chase
No holiday parade, it was a crazy race
No mistakin’ he knew the score
Outrunnin’ the law with a four on the floor
Tires were screechin’, was a sight to see
That Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— verse 4 —
This bird weren’t stuffed, but he was a packin’
Police were mad that bird was attackin’
They shot at his wheels with all they had
Run afoul of the law and that was bad
End of the day it was destiny
For Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— verse 5 —
His ride caught fire, that caddy was toasted
He was a feared that he would be roasted
Jumped outta that car, took his final stand
Raised a wing and flipped the bird at the man
They tackled and knocked him off his feet
Poor Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— verse 6 —
They locked him away in the poultry asylum
But he busts out to keep turkeys from fryin’
Makin’ your holiday menu plan
Better stick to chicken or maybe canned spam
You hear knockin’, wonder who could it be
It’s just Herbert the Homicidal Turkey
— Outro by Motif —
Now who’s that at the door?
Oh! Hello Herbert… I was just singin’ about you.
No, no – nothin’ bad. I swear!
I’d love to have you for dinner – er, I mean would you like to have dinner with me?
Uh, maybe we could just eat some tofu…

~~~ (fin) ~~~
 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com