Legal Disclaimer

a song parody by Joe J Thomas

(with apologies to Brad Paisley)

Audio:

Video:

~~~~~~ Lyrics ~~~~~~

Legal Disclaimer
a song parody by Joe J Thomas

Fast talk legal disclaimer
I hope your lawyer is on retainer
There’s a penalty for early withdrawal
Don’t you taunt the happy fun ball
Heavy machines, don’t operate
You’re just tempting fate

Fast talk legal disclaimer
This ain’t a microwave safe container
There may be peanuts in this food
The batteries, they don’t include
Keep this away from open flames
You know you’re to blame

He’s just a non-attorney spokesman (so cheesy)
After four hours, you gotta call your physician
Offer not valid in all states
Six to eight weeks you gotta wait
Shipping costs more, get it fast
Order now, supplies won’t last

Fast talk legal disclaimer
This toy ain’t safe for kids 3 and under
Don’t stick that thing in your mouth
‘cuz it ain’t safe north or south
Side effects may shorten your breath
Could cause mild death

Fast talk legal disclaimer
You’ll lose an eye lookin´ in that laser
Can’t you tell that coffee is hot
Common sense that you ain’t got
Don’t climb that ladder or touch that there
You’ll lose all your hair

Objects in your mirror may be closer (so tiny)
You know there’s no warranty for the user
Don’t fold, spindle or mutilate
Don’t puncture, prod or agitate
Refrigerate and shake it well
It’s consumer hell

Fast talk legal disclaimer!
I said fast talk legal disclaimer!

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com