I’ve Left My Mind, But I’m All Right Now

April 10th, 2013.

My Page-A-Day calendar informs me of the following bit of trivia:

“Survey Says: 95% Of Us Put On Our Left Sock First.”

“Hmmmm…”, I thought, “I put on my left sock first.”
“And my left pant-leg!”, I continued.
“And my left shoe!”, I stammered.

Ok, so what’s all that mean? Well, obviously I’m with 95% of the rest of “Us” (whoever we are). But it also means that somehow my Right-Brain is taking precedence on all maneuvers involving socks, pants and shoes. And who knows what else!

Needless to say, I was shocked.

“Well!”, said I, “We can’t have this happening, no sir-eee Bob!”

So, forthright and to-whit I have decided to cease my Right-Brain Left-Limb fascist behavior.

But wait… what about my Socks/Undies/Pants/Shoes routine? I mean, I put on both socks, then both legs in my undies, then both legs in my pants, then both shoes. Maybe I should put on my right sock, then right leg in undies, right leg in pants, then right shoe… and then do the left.  OR should I alternate between left and right? And where does the shirt go?!?!?

I guess the upshot of this is I’m definitely going to change things. No stopping me now! I’ve got a vision in my heart, a fire in my pants and a smell in my shoes!

So, if the next time you see me, I’ve got on one sock over a shoe, undies on my head and a shirt around my waist, you’ll know why:

I’m insane.

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