“Bitter Love”
You little cabbage
Mon petit chou chou
You’re good for me
I always knew Continue reading
Bitter Love
4
Category Archives: Poetry
Crabby McCrankyPants
Crabby McCrankyPants
A short poem (and apology to my wife), by Joe J Thomas
Why is the kitty being so jingly?
Is that why my nerves are ever so tingly?
Amplified noise assaulting my head
Prevents me from sleeping all snug in my bed
I snap. I growl. I grumble and snipe.
I rage. I cuss. I howl and I gripe.
The pressure is mounting – it’s all in my noggin
I need to say “Sorry!”, which is why I am bloggin
Oh, Wifey! You know, it is not your fault.
You try to be kind, and not to assault.
Tempermental I am when a new show is a brewing
But Crabby McCrankyPants – him I should be eschewing
Accept my apology, and I promise to you
It won’t happen again… until the next show is due!
Ode To Hair
Ode To Hair
an original poem by Joe J Thomas
It’s on my arm here while I write
It’s on the cat who’s curled up tight
In a brush and on the floor
Swept away beneath the door
A balding patch or flowing locks
I think I found some in my socks
It covers squirrels, dogs and voles
There’s just a bit here on my mole
Growing forth from follicles
A lack can bring much ridicule
Wet, dry, dirty, clean
You all know just what I mean
Splitting hairs, the hairy eye
Hairy palms on werewolf guy
Dye, perm, trim, and curl
Piled high on a pretty girl
Styles come and styles go
And so does hair – that’s all I know
From Whence It Came
From Whence It Came
by Joe J Thomas
FromWhenceItCame_20130211_JoeActor
A summer night, I strolled the beach
The moon it hung just out of reach
The ocean breeze was warm and calm
That night I walked beneath the palm Continue reading
What Happened?
What Happened?
Snake biting it’s tail.
Lives and markets fluctuate.
All is well for some.
Others, like Elvis, have left the building.
Existence is change: embrace it.
Notice the growth and the decay.
Forever intertwined.
The End Is Near!
… but so is The Beginning.
– Joe
The Night Before Christmas, 2001
The Night Before Christmas, 2001
Written by David A. Tarr
Originally published in Omni Magazine (December 1979)
Read by Joe J Thomas
JoeActor_NightBeforeXmas2001
T’was the night before Christmas, and all through my home
Not a creature was stirring, not even my clone.The test tubes were hung by the burner with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.The androids were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of mc2 danced in their heads.My wife in her jumpsuit, and I in my vest,
Had just settled down to some drug-induced rest.When, out by the labs, there arose such a clatter,
My bed woke me up to see what was the matter.Away to the window I hastened my mass,
Tore open the blast shields, and threw up the glass.The refraction of moonlight through smog-ridden air
Gave a luster of midday to everything there.When what to my bionic eyes should appear
But a mass-driven sleigh with some strange landing gear.With a quick little pilot, a company man,
Who did what was asked and followed the plan.More rapid that phantoms his coursers they came,
He impulsed the crewmen, then called them by name.“Now, Redox! Now, Hewlett!, Now, Quasar and Photon!
“On, Laser! On, Xerox! On, Pulsar and Proton!“To the top of the dome, by the air intake vent.
“Now dash away quickly before our fuel’s spent.”So, up to the air vent his coursers they flew,
With a craft full of toys and Saint Nicholas, too.And then, in a flash, on the dome I did hear
The scratching and scraping of stout landing gear.I steadied my blaster, my chest to the ground,
And then, through the air vent, he came with a bound.He was dressed in a three-piece he’d rented near here.
(Why purchase an outfit you wear once a year?)A life-support system he wore on his back,
While toys for the ‘droids he took out of his pack.A bottle of synthroid he held in his hand
(He was quite overweight from a poor thyroid gland).He brought out the toys that department stores sell;
The elves at the Pole could not make them as well.He checked with the base ship, while doing his work,
And filled all the test tubes, then turned with a jerk.His anti-grav belt was secure, I suppose,
And, pressing the keys, up the air vent he rose.He sprang to his craft, to the crew gave a shout;
The ship heaved a shudder, then blasted them out.But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!”