Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

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Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

You know when you know a song but you don’t know the name of the song?
Well, I wrote a song about that song.
…
No, I’m not gonna tell you the name.
…

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      Nothing Nice (parody of ?) by Joe J Thomas

 

Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2023 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:
…
What is that song I hear? Sounds so familiar now.
Maybe I’ll Google it. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-dow
Not the McDonald’s song. Give it a try with Bing.
Alexa help me find Ta-ta-ta-ta-pa-ping.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier
…
Gonna go ask my friends. See if they recognize.
Oh yeah I know that one. Zeedle-za-zoodle-zise.
Still we can’t find the name. Shouldn’t it be a breeze.
They all just look at me. Duh-Duh-Duh-Deedle-Deeze.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
This is such lunacy. Knowing the name would be nice.
…
(Incoherent Rambling Scat)
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier.
…
The song that’s been haunting me, now it is haunting you.
No need for thanks, it’s just Doodle-da-do-da-do.
It is so catchy I cannot stop singing it.
I’ll never know the name Shitty-shit-shitty-shit.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
Now it’s in all of us. We think that it is so … nice.
This song is so nice. Oh, it’s just so nice.
– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)

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I Got It From Agnes

(Tom Lehrer cover song)

Singing by Joe J Thomas

Tom Lehrer is one of my favorite comedy music artists. It’s a thrill to be able to cover one of his songs. Enjoy!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song) by Joe J Thomas

 

I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)
Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I Got It From Agnes (Cover Song by Joe J Thomas
Original Song by Tom Lehrer
Lyrics:
—
I love my friends and they love me. We’re just as close as we can be
And just because we really care. Whatever we get, we share!
I got it from Agnes. She got it from Jim
We all agree it must have been Louise who gave it to him
Now, she got it from Harry, Who got it from Marie
And everybody knows that Marie… Got it from me!
Giles got it from Daphne. She got it from Joan
Who picked it up in County Cork A-kissin’ the Blarney Stone
Pierre gave it to Sheila, Who must have brought it there.
He got it from Francois and Jacques. A-ha! Lucky Pierre!
Max got it from Edith, Who gets it every spring
She got it from her Daddy, Who just gives her everything
She then gave it to Daniel, Whose spaniel has it now
Our dentist even got it, And we’re still wondering how
Ah, but I got it from Agnes. Or maybe it was Sue
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie. It doesn’t matter who
It might have been at the pub, Or at the club, or in the loo
And if you will be my friend, Then I might
Mind you, I said, “might”
Give it to you!

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Decide! (Cat Song)

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Decide! (Cat Song)

(parody of “Rawhide!”)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Thank you to all my Friends for Photos of their Furry Felines
(=^_^=)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      Decide! (Cat Song) by Joe J Thomas

 

Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
—
Yowlin’, yowlin’, yowlin’, Hear them cats a howlin’. Can’t they quit that Meowin’, Inside!
Wave a stick that has a feather, and chase fur toys with leather, Thinkin’ they’re a tiny lion pride.
Them little kitty kisses, murder beans and hisses, look at ‘em shakin’ their backsides…
Let ‘em out, Let us in, Put ‘em in, Put us out, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Put ‘em out, Put us in, Let ‘em in, Let us out, Put ‘em out… Why can’t you Decide?!?!?
…
Feedin’, feedin’, feedin’, while their paws are kneedin’. Caused a little bleedin’… My Thigh!
Them cats is always eatin’. Lickin’, runnin’, sleepin’. Don’t ask cuz I really don’t know why.
I’m a slave to their desires, it’s makin’ me real tired. The smell from the litter box is high!
Scoop it out!, Fill it up, Fill the bowl, Eat it up, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Take a rest, Pet me now, Brush their fur, Wanna play, What the hell… Why won’t you Decide?!?!?
…
Blowin’, blowin’, blowin’. There’s a snowstorm snowin’, Ain’t no cats a goin’ Outside!
I hear them kitties comin’, through the house they’re runnin’, underneath the covers they will hide.
It’s warmer in my bedroom, they’ll be sleepin’ on my head soon, they treat me like a magic carpet ride.
Snuggle up!, Crazies now!, Settle down!, Run Around!, Wanna sleep!, Kneed the sheets… Decide!
On my feet!, Meowing sweet!, Take a rest!, Motor Purr!, I Love you… now just please Decide?!?!?

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Dr Mom! (comedy song)

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Dr Mom!

(original comedy song)

Dr Mom!
It’s the 90’s sitcom you never knew you needed!
Dr Mom’s a genius surgeon… until she brings work home!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      Dr Mom! by Joe J Thomas

 

Dr Mom!
(original comedy song)
Lyrics and singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Dr Mom!
(original comedy song)
Lyrics and singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
—
(intro music)

I get home from school and there’s a body on the kitchen table
Dr. Mom comes thru the door and tells me his condition’s stable

Mom’s a genius surgeon with a lot of dedication
But every time she brings work home I’m in need of medication

Down in our family basement is the convalescent ward
In the attic lives a psycho who’s got free room and board
Dr. Mom says it’s all just a temporary situation
But after all this stress I’m gonna need a permanent vacation

Sponge, Wipe, Clamp.
Home. Work. Champ.
It’s the liver and onions she made us for our dinner
But none of us is really sure if it’s cow or if it’s someone’s innards

(interlude)

Dr. Mom we gotta talk, there’s something that I wanna say
It’s sad you lost your job last year but there has to be a better way
You know we love you Dr. Mom with all our heart and soul
I think a new career next year might be a pretty awesome goal

(outro music)

“Dr. Mom is filmed in front of a live studio audience.”

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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R2 Death Star (parody song)

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R2 Death Star

(parody of “Grandma’s Feather Bed” by John Denver)

Hear the real Star Wars story… When R2D2 took control of the Death Star!!!

Thrill! Gasp! Exfoliate!

Lyrics and Singing: Joe J Thomas
Graphics & Animation Style: K Woo

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      R2 Death Star by Joe J Thomas

 

R2 Death Star
(parody of “Grandma’s Feather Bed” by John Denver)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2022, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
R2 Death Star
(parody of “Grandma’s Feather Bed” by John Denver)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
—
– verse 1
Member that time near Alderaan, R2D2 plugged right in
With a beep and a boop he shut down all them Death Star trashy bins
Long as he’s got that S-Comp link how’s about he goes too far
He took control of the whole dang thing – he’s R2 Death Star!
– chorus
Got a million crew, he’s white and blue
The Empire’s running scared
With a Golden Bud, a Scruffy Stud
And a Wookiee full o’ hair
That Superlaser’s heatin’ up
Planet’s blow’d up, then recharge
Just a little droid but don’t you toy with R2 Death Star!
– verse 2
He blasted Emperor Palpatine, Took out the Senate too
Vaporized Darth Vader and had a whole Sith barbecue
Them Clones got fried and just for fun he went after Jar Jar
That tiny beepin’ trash can droid named R2 Death Star!
– (chorus repeat)
– verse 3
Now y’all know the real story ‘bout how the Jedi won
From a tiny droid toolin’ round with a planet bustin’ gun (whoa!)
So next time you’re thinkin’ ‘bout The Force, The Light Side and the Dark
There weren’t no Jedi won that war- twas R2 Death Star!
– (chorus repeat)
He’s a bit annoyed, that little droid – He’s R2 Death Star!
– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Cumber Words

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Cumber Words

Benedict Cumberbatch Cucumber Patch

I was in Cumberland, Maryland watching a Benedict Cumberbatch movie, alternating between noshing on a cucumber sandwich and tugging at my cumberbund when a cumbersome thought encumbered my cranium: How many Cumber words are there? Should I include names? Sure! Why not!

Cumber Words:
cumber, cumbers, cucumber, cumbered, cumberer, encumber, incumber,
cucumbers, cumberers, cumbering, encumbers, incumbers,
cumberbund, cumbersome, encumbered, incumbered,
cumberbunds, disencumber, encumbering, incumbering,
cumbersomely, disencumbers, unencumbered,
disencumbered,
cumbersomeness, disencumbering

Cumber Names:
Cumber, Cumberbach, Cumberback, Cumberbatch, Cumberbath, Cumberbeach, Cumberbeer, Cumberbirch, Cumberfatch, Cumberford, Cumberla, Cumberlage, Cumberlain, Cumberlan, Cumberland, Cumberlander, Cumberlatch, Cumberledge, Cumberlege, Cumberley, Cumberlidge, Cumberlige, Cumberlin, Cumberlitch, Cumberlodge, Cumberlow, Cumberlye, Cumbermack, Cumbernorth, Cumberpach, Cumberparth, Cumberpatch, Cumbers, Cumbersworth, Cumbert, Cumberth, Cumberton, Cumberworke, Cumberworth

Bonus! Click here for more about the Cumber Family Name!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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My One-Eyed Love (R.E.M. Parody)

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My One-Eyed Love

(parody of “The One I Love” by R.E.M.)

Oh, Popeye!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      My One-Eyed Love by Joe J Thomas

 

My One-Eyed Love (parody of “The One I Love” by R.E.M.)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2022, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
My One-Eyed Love (parody of “The One I Love” by R.E.M.)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
—
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
The sailor man who always smokes a corncob pipe
A spinach can, fortifies that man
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
Popeye! Popeye!
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
An oddly deep cleft chin and really beefy arms
Got a magic Jeep, and a baby named Swee’Pea
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug) Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug)
(music interlude with quotes)
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
Olive Oyl will never keep him from my side
Bluto is my name, call me Brutus just the same
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug) Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug)
Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug) Popeye! (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug)
(well, blows me down!) (a-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug-cug)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Blue Krampus (Elvis Parody)

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Blue Krampus (Elvis Parody)

There just aren’t enough Krampus holiday songs out there…

I’m here to fix that!

      Blue Krampus by Joe J Thomas

Blue Krampus - Joe J Thomas - JoesDump.com

Happy Holidays! Every! Damn! One!

Blue Krampus (parody of “Blue Xmas” by Elvis)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2022, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Blue Krampus (parody of “Blue Xmas” by Elvis)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
—
I’ll have a blue Krampus without you
The Easter crew dyes eggs in fun hues
On the Fourth of July, fireworks in the sky
Won’t be the same, dear, as Valentines gone by
Oktoberfest’s not best when you’re gone
And Halloween will mask me until dawn
Hanukkah dreidels spin but it’s still not a win
Because you up and left me on Xmas
…
Spoken: Oh my darlin’. You know it’s like that ole’ Krampus visits me every day since you’re gone. I miss you so much. Even if you just threw a shoe at my head, or dunked me in your drowning tub… it’d be way better than this!
…
It’s like groundhog day’s here
But you’re still nowhere near
Because you up and left me on Xmas

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Reverend Blue Jeans?

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Reverend Blue Jeans?

(misheard lyrics version of “Forever in Blue Jeans” by Neil Diamond)

We’ve all unintentionally misheard lyrics to our favorite tunes.

I’m taking a crack at intentionally misheard lyrics with this one!

      Reverend Blue Jeans (not by Neil Diamond)

… and here are three Neil Diamond song covers as well (clicky-clicky!!!)

— Reverend Blue Jeans – Misheard Lyrics —
(lyrics and singing by Joe J Thomas)
Monkey socks – Just a thing with pants I draw with chalk
And if you’d like to have a beer we’ll see. Why I drink tea with Reverend Blue Jeans
Funny feet – Oh ain’t they things that you would never eat
But they’re a bargain that won’t go away. Still dressed today in Leather and Blue Jeans
You might be right, it’s outta sight to retire when we’re closing our eyes
I think I found somethin’ round that’s a tartan surprise
Bunny Fox – She’s a dancer that nobody mocks
There is nothing there to fear or flee. It’s two or three, but Never in Blue Jeans
And mystery meat – You know it’s comin’ for your comfy seat
But there’s a warden that don’t wanna play. He’ll have his way, Whatever in Blue Jeans, babe
I need a light. I’ll have a bite of a tire to the bone of that thigh
Cannot abound what I found in his pantry surprise
Runny Clocks! – When they’re seen the people gotta talk
Don’t you ever shed a tear for bees. Or birds or trees A Rebel in Blue Jeans
But those garden fees they pave the way for Tina Fey’s endeavor in Blue Jeans, babe
With zero down and lower annual fees, they’d only be The Blathering Blue Jeans, babe
There’s a body that will just not stay entombed today. Cadaver in Blue Jeans, babe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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It’s A Gecko (parody)

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It’s A Gecko (parody)


(parody of “In The Ghetto” by Elvis)

If Elvis sang about insurance mascots, it might go something like this…

*** BUY IT HERE on The FuMP!!! ***

Audio:

      It's A Gecko (Joe J Thomas)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2022 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

— Lyrics —
It’s A Gecko
(Parody of “In The Ghetto” by Elvis)
Singing and Lyrics by Joe J Thomas
…
In a boardroom. A marketing wizard with a British lizard,
Came up with a thing for insurance-ing, it’s a Gecko.
For your home and car. You may wonder if he’s from the swamp.
But his voice is filled with that kinda pomp from the Grotto
Now you gotta understand, This guy ain’t no Caveman.
He don’t compete with Emu’s or a waitress named Flo
He is made from lizard meat, With some really funky feet.
And that accent may be Brit or Aussie but it ain’t no status quo.
He can save you cash. He’ll just bundle it up into a package.
Just in case your car gets in some smack-age. He’s that Gecko
It’s an ad campaign. He can ride on a horse in a boxing ring.
He may hip-hop dance or even sing. From a libretto
Who knows just what we’ll see next. Will they shoot him into space?
Run for office with Lady Gaga. Or play the cello with Yo-Yo Ma?
And the ad’s go on. Something makes me keep on watching.
Are they for real or only joshing. With a Gecko
I don’t understand. What insurance has to do with reptiles.
Is it just an odd commercial style? ‘Bout a Gecko
It’s a Gecko.
In Stilettos. Sings Falsetto. Eating Neccos. In The Meadow.
It’s a Gecko.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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